A Little Past the Half Way Point Pregnancy Rant

*Here is where I rant. Read or don't read- I just need to get a few things off my chest and this is the best way for me to just lay it all out.

Being pregnant opens you up to tons of opinions (mostly unsolicited) from all different people I've found, other new mom's, mom's of older kids, non-mom's. And trust me. I used to be the judgy type. Breastfeeding, cloth diapering, circumcision, birth plans... I had an opinion on it all. I don't even mention my birth plan to most people anymore since that is a whole HUGE can of worms in and of itself. I don't have a child yet and already I'm realizing how wrong I was with all the judging. And yet the opinions and judging still exist from some others on basically every front. I'll take it with a grain of salt and try not to let it get to me but honestly sometimes it does.

Would I love a natural birth? YES! I hate needles, the last time I had anesthesia I had a really bad experience. But I'm also not great with pain. This is why I'm going the hypnobirthing route primarily. I really like that they focus on birth as a natural experience that my body was made for. It's not pain, it's just pressure is what they say with that method. But I also accept that this is me speaking, pain free, right now. Talk to me again when I'm in labor and this might be a completely different story. I may be begging for the needle. And that's ok too. In the end it's whatever is best for my baby and myself. No one can or will make me feel badly about my decision, because no birth is exactly the same.

With breastfeeding I don't need to be reminded of the benefits. I was one of the few who was breastfed during the "formula is best" craze. Plus it's economical and something that saves money and is the most nutrient-rich way to feed my child I'm all for it. But I'm also returning to work after 12 weeks and B is going into daycare at 18 weeks. The idea of babywearing, carrying a diaper bag and shlepping my pump to and from work every day already has me a little exhausted and washing the pump out in our little kitchen sink at work to take home at the end of the week has the pre-mommy in me cringing. But like so many other things, I've put aside cringing pre-mommy me as well as any paranoia I may have about what other people are thinking. My priorities have shifted to a much more important goal, the welfare of my child. And anytime I get uncomfortable with any stares I'll just channel all the brave Mama's I've seen breastfeeding their babies (very discreetly) on the subway. Will I be that brave? Probably not, but luckily my commute now isn't that bad so I won't have to be.

But we'll also probably buy some infant formula just in case. I've heard too many stories where an exhausted Mama just couldn't get her baby to feed, was put on antibiotics that prevented bfing or even worse, for some extreme scenarios wasn't there to breastfeed at all. I totally get and love the benefits for breastfeeding but the bottom line is if my child needs nourishment and I can't provide it, we're going the next best route. End of story and no regrets or apologies.

Now on to cloth diapering. It may be the latest trendy parenting fad but it's one I really appreciate for how green it is on the surface. Not only are you not throwing away hundreds upon hundreds of diapers a year, but also using tons of plastic bags to throw them away in. And I have not only a very sensitive nose, but also a 1 bedroom apartment so I'm sure we won't ever be getting to a full bag before we're changing that out for a new one. So how can you argue with a reusable diaper... that ideally should last for the entire time your child is in diapers? As I said, on the surface it may seem SO much more environmentally friendly, but then add up the amount of water used to wash them and the amount of electricity used to power those washers and that's where the big-wig scientists, like Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist at the Natural Resources Defense Council, basically call it a wash. In fact, you can read more about that here.

For us, we don't have the luxury of having a washer/dryer in our apartment, so we'd be devoting our already limited time in our creepy laundry room 8 floors down multiple times a week or paying more money to send it away to a service, at least once a week if not more. We also don't have the luxury of having a second bathroom with which to use to "clean" off the used cloths. That would have to take place in our one and only tight-spaced "everyone" bathroom. Additionally, Mango is heading off to daycare at 4 months (God willing and special thanks in advance to awesome Grandparents) so we would be in charge of picking up a bag of dirty diapers at the end of each day and adding that to our long commute. Nothing like carrying a baby in any given mood, a diaper bag, a breast pump bag (or at the very least a breast pump cooler) and a literal bag of crap on 2 different subway lines and then a bus. Oh, and during rush hour. Sorry, but F that! And not to get on my NYC high horse but when it comes to the environment, for 8 years now I have relied almost solely on public transportation and my own 2 feet. I don't drive a car, I don't use gas. So the waste of disposables isn't weighing on me much in that respect. Monetarily I do know the bottom line costs for reusables is cheaper... but not by much. We're planning to use diapers.com and Amazon Mom to purchase (and deliver) our diapers as that not only saves money but makes our life just that much easier. If you want to see a breakdown of the math by a real life Mom just check out this article here.

The basic fact is that no except myself and Bill know what works or will work best for us. No one else lives in our 1 bedroom apartment, has our exact life, or knows (or will know) our child like the 2 of us. I'm certainly open-minded to as much as possible, this is my first time doing something so absolutely extraordinary that is raising a human being, but if in my research something doesn't seem to pay off or make sense for our family then we aren't going to do it. 

I've been actively reaching out to other Mom's and doing a lot of homework, especially when it comes to the hot topics. Everyone has a different story based on their family dynamic and personal preferences and that's fine. I love seeing what has worked for others and combining that real life knowledge with some just-the-facts research to come to a tentative conclusion of what would work best for us. Basically though and the bottom line is that I want to keep an open mind throughout this whole process because if there's anything I've learned throughout the course of this whole parenting journey thus far it's that man plans and God laughs.